Burn My Dread(Lightning)

[matt]

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[Lightning Farron]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] ♦ - - - - - - - - - - PLEASE, PLEASE ` EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SACRIFICE YOU WON'T TRY FOR ME NOT NOW THOUGH I'D DIE TO KNOW YOU LOVE ME I'M ALL ALONEISN'T SOMETHING MISSING ISN'T SOMEONE MISSING ME? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forgive me
[atrb=width,240] She was annoyed. It seemed like it was always one person trying to outdo the other, to walk all over each other to achieve rank. Those who already held rank liked to hold that over their subordinate officers. It felt like they weren't focused on the mission, and instead turning in on itself. It gave her a headache. She had been walking around Academia when she noticed this place. A new bar. She shrugged and stepped inside. She was wearing a pair of tight black jeans, combat boots and a plain white T-shirt. Her blazefire saber was hanging from it's holster across her legs, and her hip bag was secured tightly. She had told Fang the other day that she didn't really drink. This was generally the truth. She forgot to mention that the long days at work were the exception. Of course she never drank large quantities of alcohol anymore. The one and only awful hangover was enough to ward her off that for the rest of her life. She sat down at the bar and ordered a beer, something on tap, and laid her head on the bar for a moment. She really couldn't stand the people who thrived within military operation. She snorted at the thought, considering she was one of those people. She was finding it increasingly difficult to prove herself here. Mostly because all she was thrown on was bust missions. She sat back up from the counter, now sitting straight in her seat as her drink arrived. Lightning sighed looking over bar. It was a nice place. She would have to tell Fang about it. She was sure the woman would appreciate the place. Lightning frowned. She hadn't gotten to spend a lot of time with her psuedo family. She had hoped that things would be able to go back to normal. It seemed like no matter what Gran Pulse was always too volatile for the 'Pulse L'cie' to have a simple quiet life. As much as she was proud of Hope she would like t actually be able to see him. He was at the top of the ladder, and she was still in the bottom of the army ranks. She sighed she was sure that if things weren't so dire they'd be able to make time to see one another. One more thing to hate about PSICOM.	[atrb=width,140] words , there are words...counting them seems like work tagged , Matt notes , o.o
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[matt]

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[Lightning Farron]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] ♦ - - - - - - - - - - PLEASE, PLEASE ` EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SACRIFICE YOU WON'T TRY FOR ME NOT NOW THOUGH I'D DIE TO KNOW YOU LOVE ME I'M ALL ALONEISN'T SOMETHING MISSING ISN'T SOMEONE MISSING ME? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forgive me
[atrb=width,240] Lightning noticed the boy switching seats in her peripherals. She was sure everyone in the bar noticed it, you'd need to be deaf and blind not to. One seat switch wasn't necessarily incriminating, but moving from one to the next rather rapidly became more so. Her jaw clenched and she looked over to him, one eyebrow arched in question. She looked away from him with an eye roll. It was clear he didn't know who she was. That was the problem with entering new establishments. The people there didn't know to leave her the hell alone. Especially when she was in such a sour mood. Of she had to correct one more person, commanding officer or otherwise, of her rank she would lose it. It irked her, especially when subordinate officers referred to her by last name only, paying no mind to rank. Despite being a fresh face to their operation, her credentials still listed her as Sergeant Lightning Farren. She wasn't giving up rank just because her file was five hundred or so years old, and she had been briefly made a fugitive. "Is there something you wanted?" Lightning asked. Ice was laced in her voice. Blunt and cold. She wasn't in the mood to be hit on by anyone who dared approach her, and she definitely wasn't in the mood for small talk. She wanted a few drinks, and then she wanted to return to get quarters and sleep. Prepare herself for the next morning. That wasn't completely true. She really wanted to have some time, with all of her friends, her family, together in one place for a change. That didn't seem too likely. Loneliness was starting to grip her, which was not a foreign feeling to her. After being gone for so long she found it difficult to fit in with the people she considered family. She was nervous and if she were being honest scared. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to realize how furious they were with her for disappearing for so long. For not being able to find a way to wake them up. Finally for not being able to protect Serah. She cringed internally at the last thought. She finished her beer, pushing the mug away from her and staring at it. The alcohol didn't seem to affect her at all, not that a simple beer was enough to get her drunk, or even buzzed, but she didn't feel it at all. When the barkeep lifted the glass from the table he tipped it towards her, silently asking if she wanted a refill. She nodded numbly. All this time alone was starting to get to her. She didn't know how to bring it up to any of her friends without them looming at her like she grew a second head.	[atrb=width,140] words , there are words...counting them seems like work tagged , Matt notes , o.o
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[matt]

[/b] he asked, his nervousness peeking through every now and then. His smile was beginning to fade as he noticed his hands shake from nervousness, hiding it quickly. "S-Sorry, I'm n-not used t-to initiating or t-talking to people." he said feeling his cheeks flush a soft red. Why did he have to be so nervous around others? Especially around people around the opposite gender. He tried to calm himself down, not focusing on anyone but having just himself in his mind. Taking deep breaths, he calmed his heart rate first, smiling as he had calmed himself down, wondering if he looked weird or creepy to the girl next to him.

"Oh! I almost forgot, I'm Matthew, but Matt is fine. May I ask for your name?" he asked remembering his rudeness earlier. Before asking her if he could help, he should have introduced himself to her. Smiling, he tried to make her feel comfortable with him, but her current mood seems like she wouldn't be too receptive of his kindness towards her.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/ul][/size]

[Lightning Farron]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] ♦ - - - - - - - - - - PLEASE, PLEASE ` EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SACRIFICE YOU WON'T TRY FOR ME NOT NOW THOUGH I'D DIE TO KNOW YOU LOVE ME I'M ALL ALONEISN'T SOMETHING MISSING ISN'T SOMEONE MISSING ME? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forgive me

[atrb=width,240] Lightning glared at him. Good intentions or not she didn't like being bothered. She wasn't the type to spill her feelings and thoughts to complete strangers. Hell her friends had a hard enough time prying things out of her when she was feeling particularly down or angered. "Look, I'm not up for chatting, and I'm not some tramp who's going to be picked up with a couple of lines, and cheap drinks. You're wasting your breath."

[/color] She told him harshly. She wasn't much for beating around the bush, especially when she didn't want to be talking in the first place. She wanted to be left alone so she could wallow.

She looked him over briefly. She was unimpressed as she usually was with the people who approached her. He was practically shaking in his seat. If he was that petrified of just talking to someone he had no business talking to her. She was used to people being afraid of her, but not usually before she gave them reason to be. Anti-anxiety medication would probably do him some good. Possibly even therapy. She wasn't sure what is was about her that attracted strangers to talk to her in places like this. Everywhere else people seemed to avoid her and her like the plague. Though in most if her experiences as such were before, when she wore her Guardian Corps uniform everywhere.

When he began bumbling out an apology she had to stop herself from groaning in annoyance. What was up with this guy. She shifted in her seat, the hanging leather holster clinked against her bar stool. The weight of the gunblade was heavy as she sat but it was a familiar heft. "Lightning."[/color] she replied. Annoyance was heavy in her voice and she made no effort to hide it. The bartender came back around with her beer, she muttered a thanks to the man. [/div][/td]
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words ,

there are words...counting them seems like work


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Matt


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light is in an awful mood

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[matt]

[/b][/i] he thought as he remembered her annoyed voice. He started to shape up as he thought it was his nervousness. His body started to slow down its shaking, returning to a normal person. "I apologize for my nervousness, but I don't mean to make it seem like I'm trying to pick you up or anything. That'd be pretty low of me to do that anyways, seeing as you seem a bit down. I just want to try and help you. I'll cover your tab for you as well." he said smiling at her. It was a genuine smile, trying to make it so even if she was still mad, she might still let him in.[/ul][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Lightning Farron]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] ♦ - - - - - - - - - - PLEASE, PLEASE ` EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SACRIFICE YOU WON'T TRY FOR ME NOT NOW THOUGH I'D DIE TO KNOW YOU LOVE ME I'M ALL ALONEISN'T SOMETHING MISSING ISN'T SOMEONE MISSING ME? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forgive me

[atrb=width,240] Lightning groaned. He wasn't taking the hint apparently. She considered getting up and walking out, but the barkeep had just given her a fresh beer. That would be a waste of money, and having grown up providing for Serah she avoided that like the plague. She glanced over at the boy again. It was obvious he had some sort of social anxiety. So why in the world would he approach her of all people. She wasn't particularly approachable. She had a weapon hanging from her waist, in a bar. Generally those things were not legal, but she was military, and with all of the attacks on the Academy lately, well, they preferred her not to go anywhere without packing. She kept it in the open, not that she could hide the bulky weapon if she wanted to. "I pay for my own drinks."

[/color] She told him firmly. She was really getting sick of this. Yes she was feeling particularly down. She knew that it was fairly obvious but considering she wasn't in company that would be in the position to badger her about it for weeks she hadn't really cared. Now she cared, because it attracted this brat to her. She was sure they were technically similar in age, but that did not make him less of a brat to her.
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Matt


notes ,
light is in an awful mood

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[matt]

[/b] he asked scratching his chin smiling nervously.

It was a genuine offer to her, but he would most likely regret it since she seemed like she would knock him out cold or something like that. He probably wouldn't really feel it though if she was going to like beat him up and knock him out cold. However, if it was to make her feel better then it was worth it. He might not remember much when he woke up, but it'd be fine in the end he kept telling himself, but a part of him was going to regret it. His heart quickened in pace, nervous by each second going by as he knew he might be bruised and possibly bloody soon enough.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/justify][/size]

[Lightning Farron]

Lightning's eyebrows drew in, in confusion. There's no way he just offered to let her deck him. She knew, if she did take him up on the offer, he would be sprawled out on the floor. Most likely he'd have a broken nose or jaw and make a bloody mess on the floor of the establishment. She ignored the offer, mostly. "How stupid are you?"

[/color]She asked. She wasn't going to beat around the bush. She thought he was an idiot and she was going t say as much to him. She didn't care about his feelings, he wasn't one of the few people who proved themselves to her.

"It's obvious I'm in a bad mood. You don't know me from Jack, and the weapon implies battle training." [/color]She said harshly. Gunblades, after all, weren't generally issued to civilians. Though, nestled in it's holster it was hard to determine exactly what kind of weapon she carried. "And you've just offered to let me hit you?"[/color] She scoffed. He was going to get himself killed young. She turned away from him, and stared back into her glass. She wondered why people seemed to think it was a good idea to try to talk to her. She obviously wasn't the most welcoming of personality types. That was Serah. She seemed to trust everyone with the bat of an eye and talk to everyone kindly. She had often feared for the girl's safety whenever she had to leave Serah alone for any extended period of time. Despite hating Snow at first, her having him around lessened her worries. The man was a giant, and loved her to pieces. Lightning was confident that if someone did try to take advantage of Serah's friendliness he would have a thing or two to say to them. She frowned at the thought of Snow. She had managed to avoid him since arriving in Academia but it was only a matter of time before she ran into the man. She didn't know how she would explain to him how everything that happened, how Serah's death, was her fault. She downed the last of her drink at the thought. Of course, not ordering another. She was in a bad mood, not trying to get herself too drunk to remember how to get home.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/size]

[matt]

[/b] he said with a nervous chuckle, scratching his chin like he always did in every situation. It calmed him down at times, like how biting nails is a way to calm some people down.

She continued on stating the obvious, like about how he shouldn't be acting this way. It was strange sure, but to him it felt quite normal. Nodding his head to reassure her that she heard correctly. Sure it was stupid of him to offer this since he was so young, it would probably get him killed one day. However, with the amount of blood he had lost during his training, it was a wonder he was still alive. Before he could respond, he saw her return to her sullen look staring into her glass. He rested his head on the counter, trying to look into her eyes to see what was wrong, or her face to search for clues. It seemed Lightning had a lot of stuff on her mind. However, it was all for naught as she finished off the rest of the glass. "I can see you've got a weapon and that you are in a bad mood. Heck you could probably be so furious as to use the weapon on me, but it also doesn't seem your type to do so. Just based on observations... I'm fine if you wanted to go outside and deck me if you wanted. Its just who I am... I know I'm weird for it." he said with a sigh sitting straight up. "Its also weird to others as well, but if it makes them feel better, I'm all for it." he said smiling at her, hiding his fear. He was scared to be hit by her, since it seemed like she would leave him almost dead, hanging by a thread but if it meant she smiled, it would be worth it. Or at least feel a bit better than she's feeling now in his head.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/ul][/size]

[Lightning Farron]

Lightning didn't like him. He was going to get himself killed from his niceties one of these days and it sickened her. How someone cared so little for their personal well being was beyond her. She knew what it meant to put others before one's self. Snow did so every occasion he got to be the hero, much to her dismay. She was even know to put herself in harms way to protect the people she cares about. However, neither of them would walk up to a complete stranger and ask them to hit them, just because they were looking a bit down. That was sick. He could use some serious mental help, but she it wasn't her business. If he wanted to go around getting people to hit him who was she to stop that. As long as it wasn't causing the bar problems it really wasn't her business.

She glared at the boy who was sitting next to her. How in the world did he make it to this old? Maybe his world was more peaceful than this, but she doubted it. From what she had seen from people of other worlds they all seemed the same. Look I'm not going to hit you."

[/color] She told him angrily. She was a soldier but not a fan of senseless violence. Other than being a weirdo he did not give her a solid reason to hit him. "Why is it that you decided to bother me out of everyone in this bar?"[/color] She asked. It was a fair question. he wasn't the only person who ever thought it was a good idea to bother her in bars. She wondered what it was that brought them towards her. It definitely wasn't her shining personality.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/size]

[matt]

[/b] he said with a saddened sigh. In the end, even though he wanted to cheer her up, it was really just for his own joy. However, it took a second or two to click in his mind to realize it sounded like he was hitting on her. "Sorry about that. I-I-I didn't mean it like that." his face lit up red as he hid it on the counter, staring into it. Well, this was an embarrassing moment. He had now wished she did hit him into a coma now, so he wouldn't say such an embarrassing thing.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/ul][/size]

[Lightning Farron]

Lightning merely mulled over the man's words. He mentioned a teacher, a sensei in fact. That implied that he was at least being taught to defend himself. She snorted. That either meant he had a bad teacher, or he was a really bad student. "Your teacher should have warned you not to put yourself in unnecessary danger."

[/color] She told him firmly. In fact that was the first lesson of almost any sort of self defense, or battle, training. The building blocks that you built the rest of your knowledge on. If you can avoid the violence, then do so. Never seek it out. It was bad practice, and downright dangerous. He had to be someone's child at the very least. He should know better than to ask for trouble.

She understood why he would be curious about her hair. It wasn't a particularly common color, even here. She hadn't seen any strangers from other worlds come in with similar colors. So far just her and Serah. Though, people generally didn't approach her about it. She didn't get odd looks or special notice because of it here. It was something that was interesting, but nothing that garnered too much attention. From what she got out of his little speech he was just lonely. He was pulled out of his world, away from whomever his teacher was. His family, his friends. So he was just attempting to make some small talk. It annoyed her. She was sure had he chosen anyone else at the bar, it would have went over much more smoothly for him. Instead he chose her. [/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[matt]

[/b] he said with a saddened sigh. Perhaps he should leave while she was still in a sort of neutral mood now, or leave since she may be mad at him still. Looking at the door, he thought about it but decided against it. Returning his gaze to look at hers, he glanced a small nervous smile. It'd be better if he was there till she was fully done with him. Leaving like that would be rude unless he had a reason, at least rude in his mind.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/ul][/size]