Extra set of Hands?

[Carla Ayatsugi]

Hello men and women of Rubrum!


I come to you on this fine day with yet another dilemma that needs solving! But what could it be this time? Who are we needing to discuss today? Well, I’ll give you a few hints and we’ll see if you can come up with the answer. Short, busty, causes some men to throw javelins in anger while going after our very own Chocobo boy.

You’ve got it!

Emina Hanaharu!

Now, you may be wondering what this debate is, and I’d be happy to tell you. Most everyone has a prominent feature, something that sticks out, and…well, I’m sure I don’t have to really tell you what sticks out on this young woman. No doubt you’ve all said the same thing, and you would be right. The topic of today’s paper is indeed Emina’s chest.

Everyone should have a part of them that sticks out that naturally enhances their beauty, but I don’t think any of us would say that Emina’s prominent feature is natural. In fact, I’ve managed to obtain the slip with the receipt to the job that our very own Dr. Kazusa did to give her such a prominent feature. When I followed up and asked him why she came to him with the desire to enhance her chest, he had some interesting things to say about it. Can you believe that as a young woman she was actually flat chested? Who would have known!

Along with that, how creepy to have a friend give you a boob job…well, to each their own I suppose.

Moving on!

When I asked Kazusa about her reasons, he spoke something about how, Emina had had a dream growing up. He spun this beautiful tale of a young woman…with a dream to have an extra set of hands. Now, I don’t know quite what he meant, but apparently this woman that Emina had a dream about, had an extra set of hands growing from her chest, and she was jealous of the ability to do so much more! Talk about having quirky dreams, though it has a valid side to it. You could accomplish so much more with that extra set of hands!

And eating. Such a daily task you think nothing of, but think how much easier eating would be if you had an extra set of hands at the same level as the table! Now you don’t have to expend the energy to lower your hands, take a fork, and then lift back to your mouth. Instead you can hunker down and stuff your face in this new, unconventional way!

However, when I asked Kurasame about it, him having been in the same classes as Emina and knowing her well, I thought that he might have some insight about why she might have gotten a boob job. What little I could drag out of him was that I should be asking Emina or Izana about it, which of course I promptly did. When I talked to her boyfriend for a short time, he colored and said that he was sure if she had gotten a job done, that it was probably only because she wanted to be more supple.

Supple? That’s a creepers word if I’ve ever heard one. Why don’t you just throw crevice and moist in there too Izana?

So now we have two options. It could be either that she wants to have a more rounded figure, or that she wanted an extra set of hands due to some dream that she had a long time ago. Now…I’m not usually one to judge, because I can see the good that could come from this! Emina is being a model for every other young girl in the school who have dreams of having a chest, but are unable to obtain that dream naturally. I’m sorry Deuce. I know how much you’ve struggled with your own lack of womanly curves, but fear not! For there is hope for you yet! All you must do…is have Kazusa help you, and that goes for any young girl out there in need of this! What a pioneer to society in this way, making young girls feel insecure about their own public image.

But it might be more than that of course.

And so I leave it to you!

An impulsive move by a woman drunk on thoughts of a psychotic dream and a desire for an extra set of hands?

Or just another boob job?

--Carla Ayatsugi